I moved to a Catholic co-ed school in the 5th grade.
Before that, I spent 6 years in a Catholic all-girls school, so the new co-ed school was relatively “liberal”.
I was 11 and already started my period the year before, and while most of my female peers had also already started theirs, there were still a number who hadn’t, or simply refused to admit it.
But it wasn’t a secret for long.
Sooner or later, we’d be whispering or passing notes in class, asking if somebody had an extra “sandwich” (a code name for sanitary napkins used from the time of our mothers).
No matter how many times my mom advised me to pack a “sandwich”, I never did, and always relied on a classmate to supply me with one when my period would start “suddenly”.
I say “suddenly” because neither I nor anybody in class really knew when our periods would start.
In 6th grade, our science teacher brought “The Big Book of Reproductive System” to class, and while most of the session was spent on 12-year-old jokes (followed by a long angry lecture from the teacher), I still learned that the female fertility cycle is “apparently” a 28-day cycle.
Again, I say “apparently” because my own period never followed a 28-day cycle.
I guess it didn’t help that our 6th grade science teacher was a man.
Maybe if he had been a woman, I would have had more courage to ask him why mine was “irregular”.
And maybe he could have explained to me that 28 days was the average figure and not the fixed rule.
And so, throughout my high school and college years, I was convinced that I had an “irregular” cycle.
Whenever I went for my annual medical check-up, I’d tell the school doctor that I had an “irregular” cycle, so I never gave them the right answer to the question, “When was your last period?”
But it was never a cause of concern for me.
On the contrary, I took pride in my ignorance of my own fertility.
I was always suspicious of girls who kept track of their menstrual cycle.
In my mind, if you weren’t having sex, you didn’t have to worry about getting pregnant, which means you didn’t have to worry about when your periods would come.
All that changed in college freshman year when I had a classmate who mostly kept to herself.
One day she was attending classes.
The next, she wasn’t.
We found out later that she died of a complication caused by a serious menstrual disorder.
She was 16.
It was then I came head-to-head with the fact that periods aren’t only about pregnancy.
And that just because I was 16 and sexually inactive, didn’t mean I should take my reproductive health for granted.
But it still took me another 8 years to revisit the subject.
By then I was 24 and engaged to my then-fiance, now-husband.
While we both want kids, our current situation — living in different cities and barely making ends meet — just isn’t the best time to start a family.
So what were my options?
Pills were the first thing that came up.
People online were singing praises about the ease, convenience and effectiveness of pills.
I also read some post-pill stories online, and frankly, I didn’t want to take the risk of artificial hormone side effects, if I can help it.
Surely I had other options?
Artificial barriers, diaphragms, spermacides, IUDs, you name it.
At some point, a pill for men was even developed but was discontinued due to adverse side effects — the exact same side effects women experience in the “wonder” pill.
But despite the seemingly wide range of options, I felt that not one of them suited my lifestyle.
That is, until I found out about Daysy, a fertility tracking device based on the Fertility Awareness Method (FAM).
FAM’s immediate appeal to me is that it is all-natural — no artificial hormones that may cause long-term health issues, or worse, carry complications to my future babies’ health.
But there’s a catch: FAM’s effectiveness relies on its users’ awareness of their fertility, how well in tuned they are with their bodies’ changes throughout their monthly cycle.
This means tracking their basal body temperature and cervical fluid (Sticky? Creamy? Egg white? Do I really want to know?)
For somebody who doesn’t even keep track of her last date of menstruation, I wasn’t the best candidate for FAM.
Enter Daysy: FAM for women who know next to nothing about FAM.
Daysy is an intelligent fertility tracking device.
While its primary function is still to measure your basal body temperature (BBT), it also calculates your fertile window, using an extensive database of 5 million menstrual cycles and an algorithm that draws on the knowledge of more than 30 years of research.
If the product claims are to be believed, using Daysy is as easy as popping it under your tongue the moment you wake up.
Once your BBT has been logged for the day, Daysy will then light up much like a traffic signal: Red means you’re fertile, Green means you’re infertile and Yellow either means Daysy’s still at a learning phase or there’s a cycle fluctuation.
But just how reliable is it?
To get real answers from real people, I joined their Facebook group which was mainly composed of TTCs and TTAs.
TTC stands for “Trying To Conceive”, the Daysy users who are planning to get pregnant, while TTA stands for “Trying to Avoid”, the Daysy users who are not.
They shared their success stories of conceiving, as well as avoiding pregnancies, just by using Daysy.
There were also stories of unexpected pregnancies, not so much because of the device’s inaccuracy, but more of user error (inconsistent temperature taking, unprotected sex during red/yellow days, etc.).
The Daysy FB Group Members are women from all over the world who have made the “radical” choice to stay natural.
For me, just to be part of that small support group that confirms my personal beliefs was a relief.
Strange as this may sound, I preferred to talk to strangers online, before finally getting up the nerve to ask my own family.
I was too embarrassed to talk about these things at first, but curiosity got the best of me.
The more I learned about Daysy and the Fertility Awareness Method, the more curious I got why only a few women (and none in my family) used them.
I turned to my aunt for advice.
Not only is she my favorite aunt, but she’s also closest to my age and the most likely candidate to understand my way of thinking.
Like my mother (her older sister) and my grandmother before her, my aunt was a pill user, but unlike them, she knew how fertility trackers work.
“I’m not saying they don’t work. I just don’t use them, because they leave very little room for spontaneity. Your husband would have to be very understanding.”
As usual, my aunt was right.
Up until that moment, I never thought of involving my future husband in a decision which would have a direct impact on him.
But talking to him about Daysy was surprisingly easy.
It turned out that his mother — like my mother — was also a pill user and experienced the usual adverse side effects of its long-term use.
It was one of the many honest conversations I had with my husband before marriage, and it strengthened my relationship with him.
The bottom line for all would-be FAM/Daysy users: You need to be completely honest with your partner and he would have to be very understanding as well.
That said, I think it would be very difficult to rely on Daysy when you’re not in a stable loving relationship.
Otherwise you’d just be throwing away EUR299 (the price of a brand new device).
While it certainly doesn’t come cheap (it costs roughly the same as a smartphone), it’s an investment, and not even a long-term one if you buy a pack of birth control pills every month (which can quickly add up).
Not to mention the peace-of-mind of using an all-natural, hormone-free product to get you in touch with your own fertility.
I’ve been using my Daysy for more than 3 years now, and it has helped ‘de-mystify’ the strange things that happen in my body.
Like when I suddenly experience mood swings and late-night potato chip cravings, I just whip out my phone, open my Daysy app and track my temperature to see where I am in my cycle.
Those are usually the signs I’m PMS-ing.
The same works the other way around.
When I’m approaching the final days of my cycle, I keep close tabs on my temper (especially at work).
But I’m not going to lie and brush past my husband’s struggles to support me in my FAM decision.
On those 10 red days each month, he’s the one with the PMS symptoms.
Here’s hoping that if you’re a woman in search of a natural way to take charge of your fertility, you need not resort to artificial hormones anymore.
Gone are the days of the 1960s sexual revolution.
We live in the 21st century now.
Welcome FAM and Daysy!
The Grammar Führerin 